Mission Beach with Clown Brigade

I can get stiff and weird and crumply and bad around my birthday. As much as I crave some attention, actually getting it feels physically painful. I writhe and do my best to let the knowledge that these people are genuinely nice calm my nerves. Some of the people I want near me are gone or don’t call.

I want to keep the judgement out and be grateful for who I have with me and the sunshine I get to have on my face. These folks have only shown me joy and love, so I do my best to chalk the turmoil up to drinking less and your everyday depression terror.

The cast:

  • @FancyFancyFancy
  • @LucyLoop
  • @severin
  • @SophieBell
  • @solar + 1
  • @approaching236

The troupe mixed bowling, golf and clown stylings for outfits. It feels good to be the transylvanians released from the mezzanine of the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

We had so many more people than I’m used to! We played a round of four and a round of three teams of two.

This group wanted mini-games, and they made them by throwing off the boardwalk wall, or from the step up a volleyball net, or from the skateboard we brought.

One bounced it off a surfing sign on the beach. One was behind a palm tree. One was up a steep sandy hill. One encouraged a long sweeping curve to the left along a grass embankment. Another favorite was off a blind drop towards the hard pack of the bay. One was decided to be a shot-put throw.

Can you do that? Just make up new rules?

Society creeps in. The police hassle some folks smoking something and scoff at us for expressing concern about it. Some drunk old head makes somme homophobic remarks about our clothing. We joke about making a round through the laundry line of one of the hippy buses.

How do you like to be celebrated? I don't know

I miss hearing the little snippets of inner life of others as we meander.

  • … like babysitting myself. Well she’s grumpy, doesn’t want to do any chores, only eats snacks…
  • … dogs aren’t allowed over there either, but we only patrol over here…
  • … This popsicle has gin in it…

A few of us dip in the ocean between games. A few others find some geo-caches well hidden in tiny vials. We jot up and down the boardwalk on the skateboard a bit.

The dog does -not- understand all this patience after throwing the ball.

Walking in the deep sand, FancyFancyFancy asked me what my pronouns were. I told her They is good!, but the question takes me off guard. I might wear nail polish and skirts sometimes, but I have a very male body. I like it mattering, I wish it didn’t matter so much. I hope I won’t feel like I have to lean into masculine to feel attractive or worth respect or care. I’m afraid of the limits to what I can ask of the perceptions of others or why I would want to do so.

She and I are on a team and take turns making excellent and comically bad throws.

Steps were made to challenge close throws, delightfully being in units of feet.

Lucy and Sophie Bell come out of nowhere and take the lead from everyone.

I love how this place let us travel around as much as it did. I can’t get over how much I felt like I saw of a place I should already know so well.

We ensure the polino is in its place and make our way to a slice at Lefty’s.

I couldn’t be happier than to be on a gentle amble with some folks who want to know each other a little better.

✌️